The simple + intentional podcast is here to support you, whether it’s to clear clutter, ditch the overwhelm + create ease + simplicity , figure out how to be more intentional in your life or inspire you to into action.
Each week I will share things like practical + actionable tips you can start using immediately to start living more intentionally and create YOUR life as well interviews with people that will inspire and educate you
166// Titration: My Personal Decluttering Philosophy
•Sarah Horgan•Episode 166
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What is titration? This psychological approach lines up perfectly with my personal decluttering philosophy. It doesn't have to be hard to move forward.
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Do you feel overwhelmed by clutter when you walk through the door? Are you tired all the time and stuck just getting by? With each day being a carbon copy of the next and no time or space for yourself? Hi, I'm Sarah, and I was you, so I understand. You're a busy mom, whether at home or working full-time, feeling like you're in survival mode. There isn't time for more because you're just putting out fires, overwhelmed by all the stuff, and aching for something more. That's what the Simple Intentional Podcast is here for. To support you. Whether it's to clear clutter, ditch the overwhelm, and create ease and simplicity, figure out how to be more intentional in your life, or inspire you into action. Each week I'll share things like practical and actionable tips you can start using immediately to start living more intentionally and create your life, as well as interviews with people that will inspire and educate you. I'm a full-time working mom, wife, and lover of all things simple. After a stage four cancer diagnosis in 2014, I started on a path to change how I was living. And I'm sharing with you everything that has helped me move from a stressed-out, people-pleasing perfectionist to calm, in control, and feeling like the best version of myself. So grab your earbuds, a cup of tea, and join me to start making powerful shifts in your life today. This is about so much more than stuff. Hello and welcome back to the Simple and Intentional Podcast. The other day this idea struck me when I was in the shower, which is the birthplace of most of my really good ideas, and I couldn't believe that I hadn't made this connection before. I want to talk today about titration, which is a term that's used in psychology, which we'll get to defining and explaining what it is, but it really matches perfectly with what my philosophy is around decluttering, how I encourage people to approach decluttering, and the reason that I think it's so effective to approach it this way pairs really nicely with identity change and how we create change that's really sustainable and that we can keep up in the long term. So today's episode is going to be all about titration and why it works really well with decluttering. So let's start by defining titration and talking about what it is. So this is a process that's used to help people gradually introduce something or adjust to something so that you have time to process things, especially if it's something that's traumatic or challenging. When you do it in small, manageable amounts, it prevents it from becoming overwhelming. So this is especially important when something's traumatic. However, when we think about decluttering, decluttering is something that is often highly emotional and very tied to our identity, who we see ourselves are, who we were. So it's really deep work. So titration makes sense when it comes to decluttering because it's using this idea of small steps to build identity, to build habits, to dip our toe in and then be able to come back when things become overwhelming or they feel like too much. And when we approach things this way, we build not only emotional safety, but we allow things to feel safe somatically as well. I think we've probably all seen that meme of a person sitting in a room surrounded by stuff wearing a costume or a mask or something. And it says, I started to declutter, but then I got distracted by all the stuff I found. And, you know, we can relate to that because all of us have been there if we've attempted decluttering where we pull everything out and we go through a ton of stuff, but that experience becomes really overwhelming. I mean, talk about overstimulation when you get in the midst of all of that stuff and then suddenly you run out of steam and you're worse off than you were in the beginning because now not only do you still have most of the stuff, but you're surrounded by a huge mess that you feel too overwhelmed to clean up. So I love titration or the idea of taking small steps because you can feel empowered, you can feel confident, and you can feel productive when it comes to getting rid of stuff. Then you can lay it down and move on to what you need to do next. Instead of flooding yourself with change, you're slowly building your capacity to make decisions one step at a time. And this is why it works. One, it's habit building. So when you do something a little bit at a time more often, it becomes something you get better at. You get more efficient at it, you get better at making decisions, and it builds the habit. It just becomes something that you do regularly, which signals safety to your brain and your body. So you don't get into that resistance that comes up when we try to make big changes really quickly. We might cover some ground, we might get ahead, but then we pull back because it's too much. It's too much for our brains and it's too much for our bodies. It's also manageable. I know that for many of you, you're carrying around a huge mental load. You have a lot to do in a day. You're all busy women. And so this is a manageable thing when we say we're just gonna do a little bit at a time. We're gonna make one decision today when you're feeling super overwhelmed. And on another day, you might make 20 decisions. And that's the thing with women. We are cyclical, right? We don't operate on that 24-hour clock that men do. We operate on a 28-day cycle. So you can't have the same expectation for yourself day to day. And I mean, it's really problematic because a lot of productivity books and time management books and that sort of thing have been written by men. And I remember Kendra Adachi said that to me when I interviewed her about her book, Compassionate Time Management. And it really, really makes sense. We've been sold this idea that we should be able to show up the same way every single day. And if we can't, that we're failing and that there's something wrong with us. We're just not motivated enough. We lack discipline. We don't care enough, which is not true. The reality is we're gonna show up differently day to day. And that's why, again, titration really works because this is about small steps, it's about dipping your toe in and then pulling back, building it into your life, making it a part of who you are and how you do things, and building that capacity, capacity for decision making, capacity for doing the work and making it a part of your life. And as things lessen in your house, as the clutter leaves and you have more space, your energy is going to be reflected in that as well. And I would totally be remiss if I didn't mention identity. And this is a really key part when it comes to decluttering and why it can be so challenging, because so much of our identity is tied up in our stuff. Getting rid of that bike we don't ride anymore feels really hard because it's letting go of that identity, letting go of the kitchen stuff because we said we were going to do tons of baking and cooking with our kids. And in fact, it didn't turn out to be that way, feels really hard because it's a loss of identity. Letting go of sentimental items that we don't actually love and are taking up space, but we can't part with is because it's a past identity. It's tied to something that is related to a part of ourselves that feels hard to let go. So titration is perfect for this because it allows you to dip your toe in, make a decision, and then pull back when it starts to feel overwhelming. So let's say you're tackling a box of sentimental items that are tied to somebody who's no longer with you and it starts to feel really, really overwhelming. You can stop. There's no rule book here that says you have to tackle something all at once. It's another lie we've really been sold, and it really ties into perfectionism as well. We feel like we should be able to tackle the whole task, and if we don't do the whole task, it's not good enough. But it is, and doing things a little bit at a time will get you there likely faster than when you try to accomplish everything in a weekend. Because again, when it comes to identity change, we don't shift our identities overnight. So if you declutter your whole garage in a weekend, the chances are you're gonna end up with a cluttered garage again in the future because you haven't addressed the behavior and the identity that led to having the cluttered garage in the first place. So what I really want you to take from this episode is that you are given the permission to do a little bit at a time. And that actually it's a great way to do things and it's gonna allow you to make shifts that are sustainable and long-lasting in a way that tackling the garage in a weekend never can. And this is really why I'm not a huge, huge fan of challenges anymore, because I found what happened with people is they would show up for a week and then they would be exhausted. It would be too much and they would stop altogether. Because it's not feasible for many of you to fit this type of work at that scale into your daily life. You're really busy. So when you try to show up with challenge energy every single day, you fail inevitably because it's just not feasible. So what I found was challenges almost backfired because people would do really great work for a week or two and then they would stop altogether. What I want you to actually do is be able to show up day to day and be able to take the breaks when you need it and know that you're gonna return to it because it's just part of how you operate. You're always gonna have to make decisions about your stuff. That is never gonna change whether you have clutter or not. In fact, in order to keep your home clutter free, you're gonna have to make decisions about your stuff on an ongoing basis. So we wanna leverage titration to build those decision-making skills so that it's easy. When something enters your home, you know right where it's going, whether it's going to the garbage, whether it's getting kept, and if it's getting kept, where it's going, how long it'll be around, that kind of thing. Because you become so adept at deciding and it's just second nature for you, and it becomes part of your identity, which is really exciting. And I promise that you will get there if you keep showing up in the small ways on a consistent basis versus trying to tackle it all at once. We all know how it feels to be really overwhelmed and want to get rid of a problem quickly. However, that problem didn't arrive quickly and it's not gonna leave quickly. So embrace that and understand that you can do this on a slow and steady basis, and it's really gonna lead to change so much quicker than you realize. And you won't get burnt out in a weekend and then wait again until next spring to do it again. I hope you found this idea really helpful and that you can see how you can apply it when it comes to tackling your clutter. And if you're interested in more support, I am putting together a group program as currently my one-on-one spots are full. And if that's something you might be interested in and would like more info, I'll be sharing that soon. I would love to work with you and help you tackle your clutter and get to a place where things feel a lot easier, a lot calmer, and a lot clearer. So you can have that time and space to be yourself and really live, have fun, take care of yourself, and embrace all the goodness that you can get out of life and stop wasting it on your stuff and stop feeling so overwhelmed and exhausted by all the stuff around you. And finally, if you love this show and you listen regularly, I would love, love, love if you can leave me a review. It makes such a difference and the reach that this show gets. So it's very much appreciated. Thank you for listening.
